#180 - what's that you say?

Vanessa (in the fetal position): "I just don't understand... bad things don't usually happen to me!"
Benjamin (comforting): "Apparently they do."

Driving in the car, on our way back from Pocatello, my ear popped. Just a normal pop from normal air pressure changes. That was Saturday, and as the day progressed, no matter what I did, I could not un-pop my hear.

*swallow swallow* *yawn yawn* *repeat*

I tried chewing gum, tried shaking my head, tried pulling on my ear... nothing would work. My right ear was decidedly popped and nothing would convince it otherwise. Finally, around 2 AM Sunday morning, as I was trying to fall asleep I turned to the trusty get-a-big-ball-of-air-in-your-mouth-plug-your-nose-close-your-mouth-and-blow method. This did the trick. *POP!!* My right ear made a loud crackle and, satisfied, I laid down to go to sleep. Approximately ten seconds later, the most excruciating pain was birthed inside my ear and spread through my forehead, down my eye, through my heck and into my jaw. It progressively got worse as the SECONDS rolled by. It felt as if someone stuck a needle inside my ear, into my brain, and was swirling it around. I had never before felt such pain. I grabbed my hear, curled up into a ball, began to cry, and started texting my boyfriend.

"I think something is wrong..."
"I'm in pain..."
"I might need to go to the doctor..."
"Where are you? Can you come over?... I need you..."
"I'm going to the ER. Downtown. St Lukes."

With no response and after pleading, repetitious, in-pain prayer, I headed to the ER. Driving myself was near impossible because of the pain. I checked myself in, laid on the hospital bed and waited to be diagnosed. With a quick look in both ears, the ER determined that I had severely ruptured my right ear drum. His response to my story of what I did was, "DON'T DO that. That's BAD!" ...good. to. know...

He gave me some heavy narcotic pain meds and ear drops to help prevent infection. The meds nocked me out so I slept for about an hour when I heard a frantic knock on the door. Boyfriend. He gave me a panicked hug, explaining that his phone was under his bead and he didn't hear any of my text messages. He was sick to his stomach when he woke up and received the previous stream of worry. He rushed over, going about 100 mph to be by my side. I started crying and the only words I could get out when I saw him was, "where were you?" He stayed by my side the whole Sunday: holding me, watching cartoons with me, putting in my ear drops while I laid on his lap, reminding me when it was time to take more medicine, making me delicious food and taking naps with me.

PART TWO:
That night I went to sleep and in the middle of the night, my left ear started in. The same excruciating pain spreading throughout my entire head, throbbing and stabbing. I took more pain meds and put drops in both ears and waited until I could call the family doctor's office. I went in about 10:00 AM and heard the news from him: BOTH ears had an infection; the right is still ruptured with an infection behind it and the left ear has a massive infection. I explained to him that the pain meds that I was currently on was doing something weird to me: I had trouble finding the right words for things, I felt foggy, had trouble focusing, and felt confused. "Oh. Don't worry, you're just high." He put me on an anti-biotic and sent me home. I was bed ridden that whole day with Boyfriend by my side. The days to follow, it felt as though I was underwater; unable to really hear anything and with shooting pains every time I sneezed, swallowed, yawned or blinked hard. Those around my, I'm sure, got sick of me saying "What!? What did you say?! I can't hear you" after everything they said.

Three weeks to the day, I think I'm finally healed.

#167 - breast cancer

Most of last week was dedicated to preparing for the Susan G Komen "Race For A Cure" event. The company I work for said they would sponsor any employee (and guests) that would like to participate and run under their team. With the $20 donation enrollment fee covered, our team quickly grew to over 2,000 members. We wanted to stand out from the pink crowd of athletes so we ordered lime green breast cancer shirts. I signed my mother, friend, her sister and myself up for the 5K. Preparation for the race (assembling packets for runners) took about 3+ 14 hour days of work, which are, for the most part, a blur.

My mother flew out for the event, and dressed to stand out, we headed out on our bikes early Saturday morning. We both jogged the entire time and then sprinted the last leg. I'm not a runner, so there were definitely a few times when I would have been glad to walk, but with my co-workers all around me and my boss jogging right behind me, that wasn't an option. Who would listen to a personal trainer at the corporate gym who couldn't even run a 5K! I mean... come on. My favorite part was definitely the sprint at the end. There's no feeling. No thought. No pain. It's purely a mental game. You just go. I felt untouchable and full of energy and ran the fastest I possibly could (while weaving in and out of participants).

Not too long after the race, mom and I downed the carbs and headed over to a spa for a full body massage. Definitely the perfect way to end a race. Now she's off to Ogden to run a half marathon while I am just getting back from laying in the warm grass, taking a nap under the glorious sunshine. Go mama go!

#160 - prepared to sweat

This morning was my first attempt at Hot Yoga. The Bikram Yoga Studio is just a few blocks from my house and the earliest class is at 6:00 AM, so at 5:50, I rolled in. There was about 20 people in the class, but still managed to feel very individualized. She kept on saying things into the microphone like, "Straighten your legs a little more, Vanessa." and "Good arch in your back Mike, just tuck your head in."

90 minutes
26 yoga positions
107 degrees

I managed all but one position. The rest I attempted, but saw much need for improvement when I compared to the more experienced classmates.

drenched
dripping
depleted

dehydrated

She had this kind of mystical voice with a Yoga-ian accent. It was confusing at first, but I ended up liking it. I'm envisioning round two on Thursday will go slightly better.

#113 - ha! you think it's a Schwinn!

Walking 2 minutes. Running 40 minutes. Biking 20 minutes. Stretch. Run stairs (2,000). Arms. Legs. Abs. Stretch. Laps 30 minutes. Stretch.

This morning I am fully and wholly craving my workout today. Not that I have been eating unhealthily, because I've been doing pretty well. Truth is, I've missed a few days recently in my regular, "workout for an hour after my shift" routine. Some days, it is just what is done, others it is something I have to force myself into - - finding scraps of momentum to push off from. Today, however, is different. I'm excited... nay, can't wait. I always feel so good after I exercise. Happier, hotter, more energized and healthier. The thought of bouncing to my new, exciting music is also a definite scale tipper. So look for me: I'll be the one on the side, sweating, burning, singing, and dancing to my happiness in the gym.

#109 - of otter pops and other woes

Tonight I played Cinderella - - helping Liz and Sami curl their beautiful hair, helping them into their dresses, taking pictures, etc. We all would have been getting ready for the ball if it wasn't for my body fighting me so much. This would have been my only college dance and I was very excited! Timing is funny that way. My girls said that we could have a graduation party/dance of our very own so I can play dress up too next time. Tonight, I am home, trying my best not to scratch all over and turning to otter-pops for relief and support.

Last summer was a bit of an emotional roller coaster and otter pops were always there for me. One link of otter pops did wonders for a just finished fight. So now, if I feel itchy, I have an otter pop. If I feel sad for missing out on the ball, I have a green otter pop (those are much more satisfying).

#108 - hello, I am job

Rarely do I get sick. If there are warnings of freakish side-effects on medicine bottles, none of them apply to me. I am the mighty immune system lady; illness has no claim to my body. Yea, say that over and over again, boasting in health and wellness and you will end up like me - contracting every illness possible. It started a few weeks ago when I came down with the flu. Fever, nausea, vomiting, malaise, and dizziness were my constant companions for 3 days. Shortly following that wonderful experience, I got another " that'll never happen to me" happen to me. But today, today beats all. "I'm not allergic to anything!" she says boastfully and confidently. Enter stage left: Penicillin. Who knew this miracle drug would be my eventual demise. I started a new medication about a week ago that contained the antibacterial drug and everything was daisies and sunshine, until last night when I started to see a change. Now this afternoon, after checking myself into the ER; life is looking pretty grim. I'm supposed to watch my allergic reaction closely, as to not go into anaphylactic shock and die. Apparently, what can go wrong in my life, will go wrong.

Moral of the story: do not boast in your health and immunity. Immunity will become mad at you and attack you until you hurt so much you want to literally crawl out of your own body. Dedicated to Alexander Fleming. Why do you hate me so...

#106 - future and to-day to-do's

Since the thing that has been occupying almost all my time and mind space is coming swiftly to an end (exactly one month from today 'till graduation) I figured it was time to dust off all the projects I wish to tackle eventually today someday. These somedays are not in any oneday order. They just are.

First: Accompanying me to devotional, religion classes, firesides, and all things that in them are "church" is a notebook. As I have been participating in these feverish-note-taking events all my life, so needless to say, the notebooks have stacked up. I was thinking, originally, of typing everything up and archiving them that way, but after reflecting on the fact that 1- there are a lot of them and 2- every other thing contained within the "journal" spectrum is typed, I decided that it would be nice to have something personal with my handwriting, doodles and comments made by the people sitting next to me. So now, the mission is to number the pages and create a "topic table of contents" so that I can quickly flip to a subject and know what is in each notebook - - thus making my stack less useless.

Second: I want to take all my loose recipes and do essentially the same thing. Either type them up (less important to hold on to personalized vanilla and flour stains) or stick them in a binder with an index or course tabs.

Third: I need to make a budget. An honest to goodness budget. Maybe official looking on the computer... Historically, my budgeting consists of mentally estimating how much my expenses will be at the end of the month and trying to make that as close to my income as possible - - always taking me right up to the wire, if not strangling myself with the wire. At the end of each month, I whip out a "budgeting post-it note" and write down all my bills, add them up, and subtract from my meager checking account. As my mother has informed me, this simply will not do. I need to start saving money (really saving, not just saving for 3 weeks until I have to pay bills again).

Fourth: I want to start crafting my way to a house of my own. Crocheting pot-holders, sewing an apron etc. I want to start putting things together now that I can use in my house so I can buy less things. I also want to learn new skills, like knitting, widdling, and... I don't know, other crafty things.

Fifth: ROCK ON MY GUITAR AND HARMONICA and earn the luxury of owning one of those harmonica-neck-holder-so-I-can-play-the-guitar-at-the-same-time things, like the greats.

Today someday, these will just be gold stars on the chart. done.

#103 - monday tuesday thursday wednesday

For being the girl who couldn't swallow a baby aspirin if her life depended on it, I seem to be quite the pill pusher.

Growing up, I would try to swallow pills, only to fail miserably and have to resort to having my mom crush them up and sneak them into orange juice. Looking back, it tasted so much worse that way. I unnecessarily put my self through flavor misery, simply because I was unable to check my gag reflex. I realized that I couldn't continue through life this way and eventually, there would come a time when I'd have to down one of those horse pills. I practiced, wading into the pill swallowing waters by taking the sacrament bread without chewing; just swallowed it whole. From there I went onto swallowing jello in large chunks and finally I could tackle the teeny tiny pills (like Dramamine).

A few years go by, and by medical circumstance, I'm now taking multiple pills morning and night. Only temporarily, but it doesn't prevent me from feeling like I'm 50 years old with one of those days of the week pill boxes, filled with 15 different brightly colored medications. I refuse to cross that line, so instead of using those convenient containers with the handy lids, I have revolutionized the sandwich baggie. I'm not sure if I should feel proud for my swallowing capabilities, or be depressed that I have a need to do so.

#81 - i dwell in the tundra

I can't handle this. Not only is it incredibly dry compared to the ever raining Washington, but it's hurricane-like windy. Yesterday brought 60 mph wind gusts! Which, in the wind gust department, is pretty intense. I especially felt the effects by having to pedal down hill to push against the wind and almost being knocked over on my bike a few times. Back to the point: the wind and the dry weather is killing my skin. I already have hand problems - always banging them on things and scratching them up (apparently I have no way of controlling them, or have spatial problems and don't know how far away from my body they can get. They've been nicknamed my meth-hands from all the sores). That on top of the attacking weather = pain all over. It feels almost as though I have a burn on my hands and arms that won't go away.

#75 - all the bacon in the world couldn't save you now

The CDC, as of this morning, reports 91 cases now in the United States:

– New York: 51

– Texas: 16

– California: 14

– Massachusetts: 2

– Michigan: 2

– Arizona: 1

– Nevada: 1

– Indiana: 1

– Kansas: 2

– Ohio: 1

Also, the WHO just announced that they are holdhing an emergency "scientific review" to determine what we know about it, it's effects, and treatment. More than 150 are now dead in Mexico and the infected count is now up to 2,400.

"The tricky thing is the virus will evolve very, very quickly, so we have to continuously monitor it," she said. "We have to receive sequential samples from cases and we have to exchange information among the countries that already have cases to monitor the change of the virus."
Shindo said WHO affiliates around the world will also consider a request from the Food and Agriculture Organization to stop calling the disease swine flu, since the virus is not food-borne and has nothing to do with eating pork. On Wednesday, U.S. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack suggested a new name, arguing that swine flu suggests a problem with pork products. China, Russia and Ukraine are among the countries who have banned pork imports from Mexico and parts of the United States affected by swine flu. Ooh, and evidently Egypt has begun slautering over 300,000 pigs "as a precaution against swine flu" ... which is ridiculous on two accounts: #1 there have been no reported cases there and #2 it's NOT contageous from pigs!

Personally, I think they know perfectly well that it's not transferrable through pork products, but are using this as an excuse to hit our economy while it's down by banning pork trade

Another personal note: I'm a little skeptical how "naturally occuring" this bizarre strain is. It's a combination of North American Avian, Human, and Swine Flu - Asian Avian Flu - Mexican Swine and Avian Flu, and one more I think. A little bit of a freak of nature to have all those different receptor sites on one virus from all over the world... curious.

#62 - da sniffles

Today I am sick. Yesterday I was sick. Tomorrow I will be sick. Blah.

It's just one of those things where you feel like strong little men are pushing pushing pushing on your temples; trying to break through. Your nose and ears are like little volcanos, filled with pressure, ready to explode. Your throat feels like it's being punished for talking to much by scratching you all over. I bought some medicine yesterday hoping to relieve some of these ailments... one should never buy medicine when one is sick. Have it already in your house so you can just use it when you are. The former requires going out into public when you are in sweat pants, hair crazy and red nosed only to come to the isle that is filled with medicine, all claiming to do the same things! Too many choices! Don't they know we are sick and just want a big red neon arrow pointing down to the right medicine that I need? Groggily, I accidently purchased allergy medicine (which I downed anyway, because it's so dang expensive. Waste not), and some curious pills. What I really desire above all else is adult Dimetapp. When I was little I used to read off the symptoms it cures and tell my mom I was suffering from just that. She then would prescribe Dimetapp. Joy! It tastes so good and made my body happy. I search for an adult version but am only faced with "children's" labels. Why do they luck out, and I'm left with horse sized pills to down? Defiantly not fair.

I found a box of old medicine I've had for a while in my cupboard, mostly without labels and direction. I figure, I've only really ever been sick with this same kind of thing, so I'm sure I bought this medicine sometime to help with these same symptoms. I took 4 blue jelly ones and they are making me sleepy, so I'm crossing my fingers for nyquil. Everyone has been so nice though! Calls from friends with lovey things to say and offers to bring me medicine, soup, etc. It's all very wonderful! (Except for one friend who said I sounded like Pinocchio and wouldn't stop laughing at me. Rude).

#12 - check your kids

I thought I would pass along something that I learned today about scoliosis. Parents have a responsibility to check their children for early signs of the disorder. If you just rely upon the yearly checks in schools, you could easily miss it, or catch it too late and then have permanent damage done. There are easy things you can do and should do about once a month to make sure your children are healthy. Something that I am going to do in my family is have healthy body checks for FHE and this will be part of it. Have you child bend over (in half at the waist) and check for "razor back" which is a first indicator that your child has scoliosis. There is no absolute cure, but if you catch it early enough, you can, through physical therapy and bracing, stop the damage where it is and maybe even help correct it. I think it's a good idea if we do everything we can to watch and make sure our kids are happy and healthy and growing properly!

#6 - give me migraines!

I read this health article that found a correlation between women, migraines, and breast cancer. Evidently "research" indicates that women that get migraines are 30% less likely to develop breast cancer than those that are migraine free. I have to give the article some credit for answering a few of my initial "are you joking?!" reactions. I see a viscous cycle emerging from this article of women, not taking medication for their migraines because they think having one is a good thing and will save hem from breast cancer, when, in actuality, it may be the medication that is helping prevent breast cancer. Anyway, I think that sometimes, health ideas that emerge are a little on the funny side.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=migraines-breast-cancer-estrogen

HOWEVER, please heed the conclusions from new research that tells you not to static stretch before you exercise, but that you should do dynamic warm-up movements before you exercise, and follow your workout with static holds. Stretching before shows no improvement of performance and will actually cause muscle tares and soreness. (This is a shout out to those tennis players and joggers that I have noticed doing toe touches and "v" stretches before their respective activities). I think of it like trying to bend a spaghetti noodle before it is cooked. If you try to bend and stretch a muscle before it's warmed up, you will cause small breaks.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/02/sports/playmagazine/112pewarm.html (good video)