#175 - on a dare

There are many reasons why John Steinbeck and I are friends, besides the obvious fact that we were both born in the beautiful Salinas, California. He saw the world in such a way that, we the people, tend to overlook. He wrote dozens of novels, short stories, and powerful nonfictions, and in 1962 he won the revered Nobel Prize for Literature. He pulls his readers in and challenges them to see more, see beyond. A few of his great works are: Of Mice and Men - check. The Grapes of Wrath - check. East of Eden - in the process of. Cannery Row - next on the list. The Pearl - the future. Here is an excerpt from Cannery Row:

"Once when Doc was at the University of Chicago he had love trouble and he had worked too hard. He thought it would be nice to take a very long walk. He put on a little knapsack and he walked through Indiana and Kentucky and North Carolina and Georgia clear to Florida. He walked among farmers and mountain people, among the swamp people and fishermen. And everywhere people asked him why he was walking through the country. Because he loved true things he tried to explain. He said he was nervous and besides he wanted to see the country, smell the ground and look at grass and birds and trees, to savor the country, and there was no other way to do it save on foot. And people didn’t like him for telling the truth. They scowled, or shook and tapped their heads, they laughed as though they knew it was a lie and they appreciated a liar. And some, afraid for their daughters or their pigs, told him to move on, to get going, just not to stop near their place if he knew what was good for him. And so he stopped trying to tell the truth. He said he was doing it on a bet—that he stood to win a hundred dollars. Everyone liked him then and believed him. They asked him in to dinner and gave him a bed and they put lunches up for him and wished him good luck and thought he was a hell of a fine fellow. Doc still loved true things but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress."

I bring this up for a reason. I am 83 days late for a new finding: This man, Matt Green, is walking across the United States. I think this is magical for a few reasons. Just as he describes in his blog, there is so much of the world you can see, taste, feel, and experience while walking that you just can't appreciate while you are zooming by in a car, plane, or even a bicycle. There is something just so innately human and simple about walking. I love to take walks, especially at dusk, so I just can't image what an experience this will be for him. Everyone he has thus far come in contact with, has been incredibly hospitable and welcoming. It makes me look forward to my adventure next year with even more anticipation. Biking my way around Ireland.

#173 - garage

When I'm an adult, I'll have a garage. Right now I have an under-the-stairs. I know they might sound functionally the same... but really... they're not. One is spacious while one is tiny. One is cement where another is carpeted. One is a room, when another is just a quadrant of the floor. I have aspirations to have more than just a quadrant of floor.

In my garage will be: all four of my bicycles (plus some), a croquet set, and...

A vintage Beamer

A classic Triumph

And a Volkswagen van for the family

and maybe a car that won't need work/repairs/fixing up... haha

#169 - oh the places I'll go

I want to work here.

I want to bike and jog here.

I want to hang out here.

I want to live here.

On this street.

And shop here.

But for now, I'll be happy here and just plan a visit here soon.

#165 - dream

As much of the world as possible! Cover the country! See every corner! Coast to coast! Obscure cities! Picturesque fields! Dance in the ocean!

My future map: (times 7 - for each continent)

see you there.

#136 - the future

While I was in college, I thought about the future, but not with a lot of worry because, well, it was the future. When romantically fantasizing with girlfriends, everything seemed so magical because, it was the future. We are starting a new computer system at work and received training the other day. If a key component was missing, we would bring it to their attention, and they would inform us that it was to come in the next upgrade. When is it going to be released? In the future. Whenever I see something fancy or cool, I call it, "The Future".

It's hard to tell if this fantasy is solely based on movies: depicting the future as this great and wonderous time, when things you desire are brought to pass, the girl gets the guy, technology allows us to fly and have the world readily available at our fingertips. It's a time of complete possibilities, no limits or boundaries. If something is unpleasant now, it will be perfected in the future. But if it's always in the future, when will the future be my now?!

#112 - counting game

Vanessa's Counting Game: Ready. Go.

10: Vanessa has ten chapsticks that enjoy being lost, forgotten, left in pockets or melted.

9: Vanessa has nine more days of classes left in her last semester of college.

8: Vanessa has eight pairs of socks that still have matches and that are white.

7: Vanessa has seven spools of yarn that desperately desire to be crafted into something useful.

6: Vanessa has six things on her list of things to do for tomorrow - - go to work, study for a test, take a test, wash her car, feed a friend, find a boise job.

5: Vanessa has five bills that she has to pay every month. All adult bills. Yes that's right - she said it.

4: Vanessa takes four pills every morning. Only for two more days though. After that, it's just her and her immune system. Go immune system, GO!

3: Vanessa has three more weeks of school left before she graduates. After that, she'll have to continue learning by teaching herself.

2: Vanessa won two contests in elementary school - - a math flash card competition in 5th grade (vs. scott temple... genius), and a spelling contest in 3rd grade.

1: Vanessa has one fancy thing that hasn't broken yet (the laptop is just slightly dented after dropping it yesterday... still works!).

0: Vanessa has zero dollars in her bank account. But she DOES have $0.25 - which is going to go towards washing her car tomorrow.

#106 - future and to-day to-do's

Since the thing that has been occupying almost all my time and mind space is coming swiftly to an end (exactly one month from today 'till graduation) I figured it was time to dust off all the projects I wish to tackle eventually today someday. These somedays are not in any oneday order. They just are.

First: Accompanying me to devotional, religion classes, firesides, and all things that in them are "church" is a notebook. As I have been participating in these feverish-note-taking events all my life, so needless to say, the notebooks have stacked up. I was thinking, originally, of typing everything up and archiving them that way, but after reflecting on the fact that 1- there are a lot of them and 2- every other thing contained within the "journal" spectrum is typed, I decided that it would be nice to have something personal with my handwriting, doodles and comments made by the people sitting next to me. So now, the mission is to number the pages and create a "topic table of contents" so that I can quickly flip to a subject and know what is in each notebook - - thus making my stack less useless.

Second: I want to take all my loose recipes and do essentially the same thing. Either type them up (less important to hold on to personalized vanilla and flour stains) or stick them in a binder with an index or course tabs.

Third: I need to make a budget. An honest to goodness budget. Maybe official looking on the computer... Historically, my budgeting consists of mentally estimating how much my expenses will be at the end of the month and trying to make that as close to my income as possible - - always taking me right up to the wire, if not strangling myself with the wire. At the end of each month, I whip out a "budgeting post-it note" and write down all my bills, add them up, and subtract from my meager checking account. As my mother has informed me, this simply will not do. I need to start saving money (really saving, not just saving for 3 weeks until I have to pay bills again).

Fourth: I want to start crafting my way to a house of my own. Crocheting pot-holders, sewing an apron etc. I want to start putting things together now that I can use in my house so I can buy less things. I also want to learn new skills, like knitting, widdling, and... I don't know, other crafty things.

Fifth: ROCK ON MY GUITAR AND HARMONICA and earn the luxury of owning one of those harmonica-neck-holder-so-I-can-play-the-guitar-at-the-same-time things, like the greats.

Today someday, these will just be gold stars on the chart. done.

#93 - one door leads to safety, the other, to a horrible death

I truly detest making decisions. I always need every one's input and then never follow any of it. I get so confused in the pursuit of not making mistakes. When I get too overwhelmed with opinions and decisions, I shut down - - closing off any of the outcomes. It's a sad but honest truth. I sometimes wish that I only ever had one option and it was always the right and best one for me. Or even two options is fine, as long as one is clearly and horribly not right.


On a small scale on the decision making, is restaurants. If I've never been to a place before and I have too look at a menu and decide what to get, it takes me forever and I usually end up not liking what I got. If it's a 'usual' place for me, I stick with what I know. My restaurant goal is to always go with someone who knows me so well that they can just order for me and I will love it. Can that be how it always is? My job is just to make who I am, known.


Decisions decisions decisions... when do I get to stop making decisions??

#78 - wind in the wheat

I'm searching for a little 'me'. Something that can begin when I begin a new stage in life. This stage being graduation, moving, working and living. I'm thinking it's either going to be a plant of some sort, filling the home of my dead bamboo tree, or an animal of some kind.

First, the plant. I don't think I want it to be a flower. Don't get me wrong, I love flowers! But I want to have something more substancial, something that won't die so easy, something like a little tree. Or maybe a food of some sort. Also, the challenge here is it has to start when the new phase starts, so I'm on the hunt for a little seed.

Option two, the pet. Obviously this cannot be birthed and begin life when I do, like a plant. It will have to be a little further along than that, but it can start it's new life with me, just the same. I was debating between a dog or a cat. A dog will be more loving and give more back to me, but also takes a lot more work. Walking, washing and the like. A cat would be less maintance and would allow me to go out of town without too much trouble. There is always the option too of a really big fish (extrememly less exciting), a turtle (if its time with me doesn't end tragically like Tardy's did), or maybe a bunny (possibly too much stinkiness and cage cleaning), or a baby chick (what happens when he grows up!?)

The main goal here is to not be so lonely and bored, to take care of something, and to not have my apartment smell like a zoo. If you have ideas or suggestions, please feel free to help me.

#66 - on the flip side

Shout out to the Sami:

Five things I was doing five years ago:

So that would be 2004...

1. Half way through my Junior year; basically with my three best guy friends all the time (they were my life). Working at the Library with my mama boss.

2. Changing loyalties from Dryden High (my school) to our enemy school, Lansing because that's where most of my friends went.

3. Finished my Junior year in high school and moved to Idaho for my senior year

4. Started dating my first 'official' boyfriend

5. Discovering what music I really liked and what music I really didn't

Five things on my to-do list for today:

1. Attend 3 classes that are relatively pointless at this point, but give me participation credit.

2. Study for and take 3 finals in the testing center... try to survive

3. Suffer through my last friday night working 9-midnight at the gym

4. Watch a movie and play with my friend Cameron (complete with stuffed oreos)

5. Sleep and get ready for a full day of studying tomorrow....

Five things I would do with a million dollars:

1. Go to Italy this year

2. Get an apartment in a sweet downtown

3. Save/invest for the future

4. Send my parents on a trip

5. Save some more...

(I'm boring now so I can have fun with my husband man later)

Five places I have lived

1. California

2. Germany

3. Texas

4. New York

5. Washington

Five jobs I've held

1. Library Page

2. Melaleuca Inc. Customer Service Representative

3. Legislative Assistant to the Attorney General of Washington

4. BYUI Wellness Center Director

5. BYUI Fitness Center Director

Five years from now

1. Make my home

2. Family of my own

3. Happy job (for me or for hubby)

4. Living on the west coast, but have traveled the world first

5. Happy, heathy

high five

#60 - tiptoe through the tulips with me

Happy Spring! It's so exciting - the night and day are exactly the same length (almost romantic)! I found a website on how to celebrate the Spring Equinox, and to me, this was nothing short of magical brilliance:

Step 1: Get in the "mood" by taking a walk in a field of flowers. Pick some fresh flowers and take them home to bring the spring into your house (my residence in Rexburg might require a floristial purchase... we've got slim pickins... unless I want to pick brown/tan grass. SLASH feel free to bring me flowers-that is always welcome).

Step 2: Reflect on the meaning of spring. It is a time to plan what you want to accomplish in the coming months. Decide what new things you want to bring into your life (I would like to add less crazy people and more cookies).

Step 3: Wear colors of a pastel nature that are traditional for the Spring Equinox (I think after the spring break I'll invest in some yellow and orange shirts. There is a yellow/orange void in my life).

Step 4: Paint hard-boiled eggs as a symbol of fertility, rebirth, and spring. Deviled eggs are also appropriate, as well as nuts and seeds - symbolizing the planting of new ideas and life (mmm sounds like nuts and eggs for dinner tonight!).

Step 5: Ask the goddess of spring for guidance in carrying out your wishes in the coming months (this one is my favorite. I like to imagine her with hair made of flowers wearing big leaves in the form of a very stylish party dress).

BYUI is celebrating in their own way: the studiers have emerged from the desks of solitude and homes of silence to study on the hills and lawns on campus; short sleeve shirts and toes that we haven't seen in months. It is positively glorious weather - and listening to the birds loving the weather, almost reminds me of waking up in New York in the summer to beautiful chirping (only to quickly be extinguished by the death-grip from my cat). Ahh spring.....

Taste it

Feel it

Love it