#176 - bernie, hello son

Google invited me to be apart of one of the test groups for GoogleVoice. I signed up with my same phone number so now, when someone calls and leaves a message, it is transcribed and texted to me. A copy is also sent to my email with an audio version that I can listen to it for clarification. Now one of my favorite things is to have people leave messages. Google tries its hardest to figure out what information this mumbling-fast-speaking-human is trying to convey. Half is a hit and half is a comical miss. It's now turned into a game for me, so call me and leave me a message if I don't answer! Google and I would love to try and figure out what you're saying.

THIS: Call me when you have a minute. Thank you. Hey too much heroin inside the number so when you're free. Gimme a call
MEANS THIS: Call me when you have a minute. I can't text that much so I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget. When you're free, give me a call. Bye.

And THIS is COMPLETELY wrong: Hey Vanessa. This afternoon you're doing well. Well, we're just going well. Hope you are jobs. It's interesting. Yeah, I'd like longer this week and others like the picture. I wanted to tell you. Well, mother break you. Bernie, Hello son tomorrow morning. This is a home hi, yeah, on how to talk to you later. Bye.

Good try, Google.

#168 - carousel of confusion

Boise Bike Week kicked off last Sunday with a vintage bike swap. Seeing all those bicycles made me want to buy a cruiser and maybe another street bike. If only I had the space... my loft's capacity is basically maxed out. There was a Mardi Gras Twilight Race last night that weaved through downtown and circled the belt loop (people mistakingly think it's called the "green belt" ba!). To have my bicycle in top shape for the race, I decided to ride it over to the bike shop where I purchased it for a tune up. I remembered it being about 5 minutes away by car, and thus, very feasible to cycle there. I headed out on one of the more busy roads (State Street) which luckily had a bike path. I was well equipped with my ipod and water bottle so time passed relatively quickly. About 40 minutes later, biking pretty hard, the "I remember this being a lot closer" thought popped into mind. I kept trekking on, thinking it would surely be at the next group of businesses, to no avail. I finally texted google only to discover, it was on Fairview. Another busy road very far away from my own current path. I turned around and headed back, this time faster to make up lost time before it closed. I biked up a ridiculously huge hill and finally, an hour and a half after leaving my house, arrived at the bicycle shop that's a 5 minute drive from my loft. Two hours later, I was back home and too exhausted to do the Twilight Race... My 'oops' bike ride was enough for me.

(from D - B on accident, from B - C where I wanted to be, from C - D which would have been easier to go in the first place...)

#164 - archaic trinket

My elementary school sported the Apple Computers; complete with epic games during computer lab time like Prince of Persia, Oregon Trail, Crystal Quest but my all time favorite was the "open Paintbrush tool and draw a picture" game. I rocked that game. Our school supplies list always included a pack of 25 floppy disks which were then promoted to hard disks. 80% of the time, one would be shoved in my backpack, containing multiple papers and projects for school. The 'shoving process would cause the silver metal piece to be bend, dented, or completely ripped off- destroying my academic career.

"It’s probably been a dog’s age since you even thought about floppy disks — let alone had a drive on your computer that could support one — but floppies are actually still popular in India and Japan. Sony is the last manufacturer of 3.5-inch floppy disks, and while the company sold more than 12 million of them in 2009, Sony has just announced it will stop making floppies as of March 2011."

As obnoxious as they were, they will be missed. Now my problem is losing the technology of the future. They make everything so dang tiny!

#148 - resume material

I have a joke: so there was this hotel in the world. This hotel thought it would be a great idea if a guest's bed was all warmed up before they got in it that night. INVENTION! The human bed warmer. gafaw gafaw gafaw...

(by the way, I can't get over the middle "guest" man's facial expression, "I feel funny...")

How is this a good idea? I love the questions tied to this article:

*In the case of a double bed, will there be two bed warmers?

*In such a case, will they match equally in their bed warming abilities?

*Do bed warmers get any special training?

*Is this a free lagniappe service or guests have to pay extra charges for a pre-warmed bed?

*What is the gender of the bed warmer? Most guests assume it would a woman but the news item cleverly keeps silent about it.

I have some of my own:

*Are you supposed to talk to them? If so, what on earth do you say?
*Will they be all sweaty and hot and there-by, sweat in your bed?
*Will they just wander from room to room, bed laying?
*Do you tip?

*Are you supposed to get in the bed while they are in there?

*Will they make the bed after they leave and make it ridiculously and uncomfortably too tight like hotel beds always are?
*Why is this happening?

I feel uncomfortable and awkward....

#144 - long since forgotten

We used to be great together. We had each other's back. Sharing adventures, pictures, laughs and tears. Updates monthly; nay, weekly! But that was a long time ago... You've probably since moved on to other more exciting, regularly updated blogs. I'm still here; still having thoughts, barely intelligible to post. Still wanting that connection to the vast expanse. Reaching out to the unknown reader that might connect to my maundering. If you are there, please know I'll do my best to come in at a reasonable hour and share my tales with you. We can cuddle up and pillow talk until the wee hours. Had a long day? Well, just relax, and know I'm back for you, baby.

#141 - water pump

When dear ones go into surgery: on Saturday, I brought my mac in for a few repairs. The mac men seemed very confident and said they would have it fixed in no time, but failed to mention up front that they would need to keep it for five days. It was sprung on me, and as I walked outside of the store, I felt a little mac shaped emptiness. I got home and helped my old Compaq emerge from the closet. It has jumped from closet to closet for the past two 1/2 years since I've upgraded. It works, but has been stripped of it's computerness. After re-installing the Internet, I was up and running. The only problem with this computer is that it randomly decides to shut down; oh, and it's not a mac, and of course, once you mac, you can never go back. I have recently become addicted to the pill popping "House" and like to watch an episode or two a day online. 20 minutes into an episode and 3 'shut-downs' later, I had reached the pivotal discovery scene. Dr. Foreman was looking into a telescope, having a conversation with Dr. Wilson, when he got that look and exclaimed, "the water pump!" shoooooommmm - a black screen. "WHAT ABOUT THE PUMP!? WHAT ABOUT THE PUMP" Instinctually I yelled at my computer, and was too upset to instantly reboot. I had to calm down a bit... clean my house. Then find out how this water pump managed to almost kill a family. Very frustrating. One of the key luxuries I have found with a mac, now that I can really compare, is speed. Speed at finding things, bouncing through screens and pulling up need-to-go-to's. Oh I miss you speedy on mac. Get better soon...

#134 - sneaking around cyberspace

When I first moved into my studio, I tried to get online, only to find that everyone in my building locked their wireless. For the first few days in Boise, I would ride my bike downtown and use the Internet in a wireless cafe. After the purchase of a smoothie and a banana, I would surf for about an hour, then start being physically productive. One morning though, I woke to find that one person in my building forgot to lock their wireless Internet. I mooched off that for about a week. It was glorious! I could wake up and check my mail, apply for jobs, and search for new music. I was hoping and hoping he wouldn't remember and block me out. Probably a new move in who just set it up...

Next thing I knew... the door was closed. I hit my old Internet cafe again, and actually found a couple other places where I wouldn't have to pay for food first. It wasn't so bad, I didn't miss the luxury too much. When ever I knew I would be driving around a lot, I would take my laptop and have it open in the passenger seat with the wireless scan open. If I glanced over and saw an unlocked network, I would pull over momentarily and check my mail, etc. I was diving around one particular time last Monday. I stopped in a neighborhood and saw an unlocked network titled "GET YOU'RE OWN!"... this guilted me into not using their wireless, but the feeling quickly dissipated when I found another unlocked network in the next neighborhood titled "Jon and Lisa's". They were nice and shared with me.

I recently went home to visit for the weekend and after I came home, what do we find? Hello friends. I'm in my pajamas. It's 10:00 at night. I'm listening to music. I'm tired. I'm home. And I'm ONLINE! Thank you new forgetter... thank you.

#114 - inattentive something or other and the not-blog

I was going to blog about how earlier today I wasn't feeling well and thought it might have been because it was 3:00 and all I'd had to eat was a low fat yogurt, and apple, and a banana. That mixed with never enough water and meds this morning, I thought, made me feel ill. Turns out it was just work, because I just got back for the 9 to midnight shift and immediately the feeling came upon me again, after being absent while I was at play. But I felt too sick, so I didn't.

I was going to blog about the week that the celebrities died - - how it is everywhere now (everyone buying MJ's music, twitter whaling over with people talking about the devastation, it consuming the news and gossip shows, every news and media blog I follow posting something about it) but I thought that would just add to the already overwhelming talk and be counter-productive, so I didn't.

I was going to blog about my rebellious hypocritical feelings regarding having to work on a holiday weekend, especially when it's such glorious weather outside. In protest I am wearing carpi's and flip-flops to work (a cardinal no-no for the authorities of BYU-I), but still have to tell people coming to the gym that they have to be properly attired in the required gym uniforms to exercise. But that didn't interest me enough, so I didn't.

So this is me without thought and my not-blog.

#100 - c-h-e-e-s-e, that spells smile

Welcome to my one-hundredth post!

After 8 months without, I finally bought a new camera. I did it all - - looked at consumer reports, compared prices/features and such. I found the one I wanted last Thursday at Best Buy. It's perfectly tiny, and a plum purple color. The coolest thing about this camera though: it has a mind of it's own!

Two of the coolest functions I didn't know exist is the smile button and the eyes button. For the smile setting, you just point the camera at your subject and as soon as it detects that the person has smiled, it snaps the picture. The other one, to prevent blinking pictures, it takes two pictures right after the other and then saves the one where the subject has their eyes open. Amazing, I know!

I just like it so much...

I decided I needed a camera sooner, rather than later, because I am nearing the end of my last semester at school and really need to bust out the picture-taking. Get ready to have my camera in your face, everyone, so I can remember you forever!

#86 - FWD:

My eyes always go straight for that tiny postage stamp on the left of my computer. A little red circle appears in the corner with a number when I have new emails. It's always so exciting to hear the little 'ding' when a newcomer arrives. It's fun to know people are thinking of me or want to talk to me. Disappointment crashes on my head though, when the big reveal brings the letters: FWD: I used to get a ton of forwards when I would give my email out like free samples at Costco. People I didn't know very well would have my email address and so that was the only thing they would ever find to send me. I have since created a 'public email' given to businesses and such, a 'personal email' given to friends and family, and a 'private email' which I am saving for a special occasion. Last time I had a private email, only one person had it and it was his special account. So the amount of forwards have really been cut down. I received one today though, which spurred this monologue. I like getting fun cute things, but what I do sometimes is just take the parts I like and put them in a new, personalized email; I think it's happier that way. And remember, only YOU can prevent forwards.

#85 - friend mongers

I don't have facebook, but when I first did, I would add everyone who wanted to be my 'friend'. Acquaintances, people I saw in my classes, friends of friends who added me (or something ridiculous like that). But I didn't add everyone. Like those guys who just added me because they just though I was cute and wanted to "get to know me". After I reached some new level of maturity, though, I went through all my face 'friends' and deleted the ones I didn't know, never talked to, or never had any intention of talking to. That narrowed it down quite a bit to just my actual friends. Looking around though, I noticed people just had thousands and thousands of friends. There is no way these people are actually friends with that many people! They are just friend mongers. Trying to show off how popular they are and how many 'friends' they have. I don't like these people.

Now that you are up-to-date, here is my story. I recently joined a new website called goodreads. It's an intellectual faceboook of sorts where people get together and share what books they have read and give their reviews and recommendations. Aka: the bookbook. All the people I am friends with have normal amounts of human friends. BUT today this guy added me to be his friend and I had no idea who he was! He told me how he wanted to share books with me and that I should add him. I looked at his profile and this guy has over 3,000 friends. The friend mongers on the bookbook are seeking me out already! Needless to say, I clicked the ignore button.

#84 - the latest my eyes have seen

So a group of Swedish (of course) designers called "Humans since 1982" designed a clock made up of 24 analog clocks. It was on display in Göteborg, which adds to its coolness. If you haven't seen it yet, it's rather hypnotizing... I thought it was pretty cool. And probably the sudden fascination with clocks is because I'm desperately bored and keep looking at mine.

P.S. This just was released... the first trailer for Sherlock Holmes. He seems more actiony and sexy than I remember from the Jeremy Brett series...

#45 - birth of the vlog - and crazy with the hyperlinks

With Valentines' Day approaching, oh so pleasantly, it seemed like a good time to recap on the forlorness of my past ramshackle relationships (mostly I just wanted to use "ramshackle"). I decided to expel my story in a video. I've never done a video of myself before. It was a difficult start filled with technical difficulties.

This is the teaser trailer (slash, the first 30 seconds):

So, I heard that people do online video first dates. I am already worried how my generation is losing their social skills and ability to communicate in person... with meeting potentials through Facebook and Myspace, asking on dates through texts and emails, millions of dating sites and hook-em-up TV reality shows, and now actual dates through video chats online. Some important dating criteria comes through being in person; like eye contact (you'll both be looking at the video of the other person), gentlemanness (no doors online), and touchy flirty responses. The future is doomed...

Here are some chipper stats for you:

The median age for a woman to get married is 25.1 years

Less than 50% of men and more than 50% of women all over the world are on dating sites

There are 99 men for every 100 women between the ages of 24-29

Current enrollment for Winter 09 at BYU-I is 5725 males and 6942 females

There are 92 million unmarried americans 18 and older (that's 42% of all U.S. adults)

54% of unmarried adult Americans are women

There are 15 million unmarried Americans 65 and older

There are 18 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women in the U.S.

30.5 million people live alone (27% of all households)

It is estimated that there are 82 million single and unmarried adults in the U.S.

A quote from the News Tribune, "The news that 51% of all women live without a spouse might be enough to make you invest in a cat future"

Happy Valentines' Day! <3

#30 - shout out

Thanks to my friend, Kristal - I have embraced the addition of hyperlinks into my blog. Being all "technological" still makes me feel funny, but I'll just go with it for now. Anyway - love the special blue words with me... click them and enjoy the ease of the hyperlink.

#25 - lost in space

If you look in the right place in the sky tonight, you can see the famous bag of tools that was dropped last week by an astronaut. Evidently, this was not just any tool bag. This was a $100,000 tool bag. SpaceWeather.com started tracking the tool bag and "More bag-viewing opportunities are expected." I don't know why I think this is so funny; I just do. What's more is, they say, "the errant tool bag will fall back to Earth in June of next year" and that when it falls, it will be a huge, fiery ball. I'm excited to see this fireball come back to earth and am marking my calendar now. I just looked up my area and there are 54 flybys in the next 10 day. Goodness! That is one zippy little lost tool bag. You can track it's progress by linking to: http://www.n2yo.com/?s=33442 (bag might not be actual size...)

I love that this is news and that people are concerned. Funny.

#21 - the humans are dead

Very slowly and timidly, I am walking into the technological light. A few things rub me the wrong way (facebook, myspace, twitter, intelius) but some have been like a pair of new fuzzy socks: warm, comfortable and easy to incorporate into my everyday life. Obviously, in contrast to my first blog entry, the "blogging" water is nice and warm. I think the reason why I enjoy it so much is, I really enjoy writing and currently have no outlet, being neck deep in science and health classes at school. But, another technological creation has replaced a make-shift invention of my own. When ever I don't know something or have a question/debate regarding a particular subject, or just have something on the tip of my tongue that I just can't grasp... I call or text my mother and ask her. 90% of the time, she knows exactly what I am talking about and promptly responds with my answer, relieving much frustration. Then came along chacha. Evidently, in January this year, a company was birthed that answers random (and practical) questions. "What concerts are in Olympia this week?" "What time does my flight leave?" "What should I eat if I need more vitamin D?" a few of the questions I have posed to chacha. They are always quick to respond and, to my knowledge, correct. They are a great resource if you are out and about and can't look up information for yourself. Or, even if you can look it up yourself, they can save you some googling energy. Three opinions I have: because of inventions like this, we are becoming a more and more lazy people. Why look it up myself if some "impression of a person" can do it for me? One confession I have is, with my school, I only know (basically) one phone number: campus operator. I ask them everything, and have them transfer me everywhere. It takes a few seconds to go to my school's website and look up a professor's number... OR I can just ask Sally on the other end of this 24 hour hotline and ask her what my teacher's number is and have her transfer me. Opinion two: I hope this isn't some weird, uncomfortable way of somehow replacing my mother with an invisible "chacha"entity, like those orphan monkeys that think a terry-cloth with a cube-ball on its head is its mom. Opinion 3: too much technology still scares me, and it's taking over. Proof enough is that, while typing this blog, the word "googling" does not come up as a spelling error. It is, in fact, a word in the english dictionary. Sometimes I just freak out and turn off my cell phone, shut down my computer and write a letter. I still think that no matter what new advances are made in the future... nothing means more and can replace the feeling that come when you send/receive a letter in the mail. I love it, and think that the written word is much more potent and efficacious that anything else. I'm still very much anti those, attached to your head bluetooth things. Makes you look like a robot and completely unnecessary (possibly acceptable while driving...possibly.)

#17 - "if we walked on our hands with care, instead of on our feet, would what we saved on shoe repair suffice to make ends meet?"

The conclusion is... the smaller the task, the more frustrated I become if I can't do it. It's those dang small motor skills - they need some major fine tuning. Tonight my shoe broke, and i've been trying to save money everywhere I can so if things break, I try to fix them before going out and getting a new one. Shoes, clothes, appliances, etc. I run into some limitations when it comes to electronics, but it seems like nowadays, no one wants to take the time. Like, you can't find a cobbler or taylor anywhere any more...we just get new things instead of fixing the old and comfortable. (I could go on a whole metaphor ramble about relationships now, but will refrain. You're welcome.) Anyway, tonight's focus was the shoes. They have stitching all around the edge and the string came out. The string was too big to fit in the eye of any needle I had so I tied the large string to a smaller string and tried to hand sew it back together. Great idea! oh but wait, no. The smaller string kept breaking, I kept on stabbing myself, losing the string in the fuzziness of the shoes, and constantly struggling with fingers too big and needle too small. Many "urg!!!" and "grr!!!"'s later, the shoe is fixed! But now I'm afraid to wear them, worried that the string will come out again. So I fixed my shoes so I could save money and fix what I had, all to be too afraid to wear them. Someone explain this to me please. (The picture is the most frustrated face I can make...trying to convey to you the pain of the evening)

#1 - how did this happen??

Giving blogging a try...

So I've been pretty skeptical about blogging. I think it's kind of weird...just talking about yourself. Anyway, from family requests, I have decided to give it a go. I don't think I'll have much to say, but read if you wish.