#157 - lost whiskers

TOGETHER, LET'S LEARN: Whiskers help the cat feel his way around. Whiskers are so sensitive that they can detect the slightest directional change in a breeze. At night, for example, this helps a cat slink its way through a room and not bump into anything. How? The air currents in the room change depending on where pieces of furniture are located. As the cat walks through the room and approaches the couch, he'll know which direction to turn based on the change in air current around the couch. But the whisker's primary use is to help a cat judge whether or not he'll fit through an opening. A cat's whiskers are roughly as wide as his body -- sort of a natural ruler. The whisker tips are sensitive to pressure. You'll probably see a cat stick his head in and out of an opening before he puts his body in. He's judging the width of the opening, and is determining if he can fit into it.

I feel as though, lately, I am a cat with my whiskers cut off. I apparently am back in a phase where I have no spacial perceptibility. I keep bonking my head, face, arms, legs... bumping into walls, cutting corners too closely... not ducking low enough and just not seeing certain things entirely. Owiee....

#78 - wind in the wheat

I'm searching for a little 'me'. Something that can begin when I begin a new stage in life. This stage being graduation, moving, working and living. I'm thinking it's either going to be a plant of some sort, filling the home of my dead bamboo tree, or an animal of some kind.

First, the plant. I don't think I want it to be a flower. Don't get me wrong, I love flowers! But I want to have something more substancial, something that won't die so easy, something like a little tree. Or maybe a food of some sort. Also, the challenge here is it has to start when the new phase starts, so I'm on the hunt for a little seed.

Option two, the pet. Obviously this cannot be birthed and begin life when I do, like a plant. It will have to be a little further along than that, but it can start it's new life with me, just the same. I was debating between a dog or a cat. A dog will be more loving and give more back to me, but also takes a lot more work. Walking, washing and the like. A cat would be less maintance and would allow me to go out of town without too much trouble. There is always the option too of a really big fish (extrememly less exciting), a turtle (if its time with me doesn't end tragically like Tardy's did), or maybe a bunny (possibly too much stinkiness and cage cleaning), or a baby chick (what happens when he grows up!?)

The main goal here is to not be so lonely and bored, to take care of something, and to not have my apartment smell like a zoo. If you have ideas or suggestions, please feel free to help me.

#38 - "or would you rather be a fish..."

I believe that we are evolved from animals. Not directly from apes or anything like that. I think that each person morphed into who they are from an animal previously. If you look at someone close enough, you can see the animal within them. I remember one day at work at the Attorney General's Office, my friend/co-worker and I had fun with this game. There was a large poster with the faces of all the Washington State Representatives and Senators. We proceeded to look down the list and identify which animals each of the member's looked like. I've done this with roommates and friends before too - identifying which animals we look most like.

Sami and I identified our inner animals:

#20 - prudence

Tonight I am alone. My friends have all gone away. I'm leaving tomorrow for Utah to visit with a best friend from NY, then I'm off to WA to be with my family for Thanksgiving. Tonight I decided to think of what I am grateful for, right now.

My music that I love. (it defines me)

My cozy sweat pants.

... It's hard to just do now thankful things and not just list off all the general, normal thankful things...

Brown Cow, cream on top, fruit on bottom, strawberry yogurt.

Imaginary pets to keep me company.

When I am alone, I think way too much about way too much. I think someone should call me and save me from my wandering, obscure thoughts.

#19 - a great divide of desire

There are no words. Actually, I'm experiencing a little bit of word vomit because of the intensity of the situation. So here it is: I feel like I need to give some background information before springing this on you. I don't like squirrels. No one should. They are satanic demons of the dark underworld. They offer no benefit to the world and only instill fear and dread. They stalk you. They scurry all over really fast with their sharp little nails attached to their creepy feet. They attack people (just watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for proof). They plot against man-kind (haven't you ever seen that car commercial where the squirrels run that car off the road and then give evil handshakes??) They carry rabies. They teased my dog maliciously for years. They are just bad all over and I don't like them. Despite my hatred of them, the kind-hearted person within can not actually harm them (even though every instinct I have tells me to). I once was faced with a situation, driving in my car at night when a squirrel ran in front of my car and I swerved. I swerved!

This all brings me to tonight's events. We were all sitting in our living room. "KNOCK KNOCK" none of us wanted to answer it because, well....we are lazy. We yelled, "come in!" and after no response, Holly (my roommate) got up to answer it. Clipped to our front door was none other than a dead squirrel. My body was faced with a divide of desire. I was utterly grossed out and screamed!! I couldn't look at it. It was SO gross! But then, a part of me was almost relieved that there was one less of them in the world to terrorize me. I felt a little happy (and then immediately guilty for the happiness). We don't know who it was, but the whole evening's events were very confusing. My body has never felt so contradicted.